Thought I'd post a quick update as to what's going on with me...

( Cut to save your f-list from long postage... )

I really hate going to the school to talk about my son. All that's ever really accomplished is that the principal attacks my parenting, and I spend the rest of the day upset, and in this case, crying. Is it so hard for people to think about what they're saying before they say it? Did her mother never teach her "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"? WTF.

This summer was really great for me, with all the light and nice weather, but winter seems to be coming on very quickly this year. The fast-fading light is already starting to get to me. It seems I'm going into hibernation mode. If you notice I'm not around as much, it's not because I don't love you - it's just the lack of light and hormones making me feel all anti-social. I'm going to price some full-spectrum lamps, and hopefully get one. I think that will help a bit.

So as promised in my last post, it's Chase's turn, now that she's home from h_u_s_h_e_d's house. While Edmund got new eyes, she got a new wig. :) So on to the pics!

Chase with her old wig and faceup:


And Chase with her new wig and faceup:


( More pics under the cut )

Sorry the pics are a little washed out - these were actually the best of the bunch. :/ When I had finished taking these, I went inside to get Edmund for a few pics, but when I got back outside, it had started to rain. ; ; No love for Edmund today. On a side note, however, I did get him a few shirts from Her Delicate Strength, (again, from the leftovers sale I bought both their jeans from), and I ordered him a few more things that should be here in the next few days.

Credits for Chase's outfit: Shirt by DoA user toothru, jeans by Her Delicate Strength, socks by Dale Rae, shoes by Leeke. Her bracelets are rings I picked up at JCPenney, and the scarf is by me (a dolly-sized adaptation of Clapotis in Cherry Tree Hill's Supersock Merino, colorway Foxy Lady).

So back in September, I got a couple of Fairyland MiniFees (and a pukipuki!). And I did some faceups on them, which were not completely horrifying, but were rather amateur, and, compared to others, kinda looked a little like ass. So not too long ago, I set them to visit h_u_s_h_e_d for some of her fantastic faceupping. My Marcia, Chase, and my pukipuki, Bea, are still down at her house, but Edmund has come home, so I thought I would share a little. Here's a couple "before" pics (with my crappy, full-flash photography):



( More before... )

He also got new eyes in the mail while he was away, and some pants that aren't girl pants. We're still waiting on a shirt (although he still has that raglan - I just didn't want to put it back on him, lol). And while he was with Amanda, I cringed a little at the crap-ness of his previous wig trim, so I put a bag over his head, popped the wig on top, and trimmed it better this time (after reading a great Wigzardry column in Haute Doll a couple issues back). And somehow, my quiet, nerdy, wiener Edmund turned into a sexy, confident Edmund. I couldn't believe it. But I can't really do anything about that now...and it's surprisingly okay with me, lol. So here he is:


(I've also been playing with different lighting - this was taken with a white tissue diffusing the flash.)

( And in the natural light... )

I didn't realize what a huge difference the natural light made, but now that I do, I am completely sold on it. I love it. And I totally love Edmund. Thanks a ton, Amanda. :D

(Oh yeah, I'll do this again when the girls come home.) :)

If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

You know who you are!

(gacked from h_u_s_h_e_d)

Yesterday we went to the local renaissance fair, and had a really good time. The kids were a little restless for some of the stuff we wanted to watch, and Rachie (after begging us to take her to it) would not go in the bouncy castle. Admittedly, we had had a lot of fun earlier in the day at the Saturday market (then getting Patsy's glasses fixed at the mall, and running around the fountain at the library and taking a detour through the British sports cars thing), and the kids might have been a little pooped out. But my friend Gellie was there (involved in the fair) and gave the kids lots of chocolate coins, and the living chess was awesome.

It was also really great to see Amanda and Cori, and we also got to see Sarah and Lily and Hanna, which was also nice. I am still socially awkward as ever, though. I like all the people I've met through dolls - I think they're great people. But beyond dolls I don't have a lot in common with most of them. I'm older than almost all of them - by quite a bit in most cases - and in a much different place in my life than they are, as most of them are figuring out what they're going to do with their lives, etc. and I've been married 8+ years, and have three kids. My whole life right now pretty much consists of knitting, hanging out on the computer, and taking care of my kids. My whole identity these days seems to be MOM, and while that's a good thing in some ways, it really limits my interaction with other adults, because I literally feel like I have nothing to talk about, except as things relate to my kids.

When I was at church today, I had another realization. I have so little of my own experience that when I talk to other people about things (in or out of church), I mostly end up relating experiences that other people have related to me, and I feel that's somehow cheating. I mean, I have my own life, and I read books, watch movies and TV, listen to music, etc. but I feel that my life is so boring, and no one wants to hear about it (hence the really crappy blogging). I haven't been to college, and I'm younger than most people I talk to realize. Some of them have even asked me if I'm the oldest in my family (I'm the 4th of 5), though I think that's mostly because I was married first, so that's just their assumption. I've thought about a lot of things I want to do with my life, or things I want to learn, or places I want to go, and even if they're awesome plans, even attainable, later I'll say, "What's the point?"

I'm still at that place where I haven't really figured out all the parts of me, beyond who I need to be right now for my kids, and mostly who I was before I had them. I like to think I know who I am, but sometimes I'm not so sure.

(Also, two things:
Sarah, I apologize if I laughed too much at that magician as we were leaving the fair. I realized too late that it may have hurt your feelings, and it wasn't fair of me, so, I'm sorry.
And Amanda, I hope I'm not the source of your angry/grumpyness. ;_; Again with the social awkwardness - I tend to retreat into the Mom thing when my kids are around and I'm uncomfortable with the situation, and I hope I didn't make any assumptions about your doing faceups for me. Let me know if everything's cool, or if it's not and I can rectify things.)

Sooo...I realized that I hadn't posted in a good long while. There's been a number of updates, first being that Rachel got her cast off on April 8th, started walking again about a week and a half after that, and is now running and dancing and all that like a normal 2 year old. Well, she can't jump yet (she was a late walker to begin with, and then with the leg-breaking it set her back a little bit), but she's doing really well.

About the time Rachie broke her leg, some of our extended family was evicted from their home (again), and came to stay with us "for a couple weeks." They're still here. They're supposed to be out on June 1st, but honestly...I'm not sure that will happen. More about this later, except to say it's been causing a severe amount of stress for my parents, and for everyone, but mostly for me. Like I said, I'll revisit this another time.

Summer vacation has arrived. This is nice in some ways, and a major pain in the butt in others. I like not having to drive two kids to two different schools every morning. (Oh yeah, did I mention that I've been driving my cousin to school every day, because there's no bus service at her school, and we don't live in that school's zone anyway? And I would much rather have been walking Wyatt to and from school once the snow was gone, instead of spending a lot os gas money that no one is helping me with, even though I'm driving their kid to school.) I don't like all the squabbling of the kids.

Have to run for now, will fill in more later.

Okay, so we've been to the doc for x-rays twice since my last update. Rachel's bone is mending well. Everything is in perfect alignment, so we don't have to go back for x-rays until the 8th of April, when she should get her cast off. So that's exciting news. She's been off her pain meds entirely for over a week, and is absolutely the cheeriest broken-leg baby I've ever seen.

I've been doing a fair bit of thinking about the coming summer, when we're planning on buying a house. I've been poring over home decor magazines and thinking about paint colors and new bedding and all that nesting stuff. I never really got to think about paint and cabinets and fixtures and hardware when we were renting, but the idea of a house as a blank canvas waiting for me to create on is absolutely enthralling. When my brother bought his house last summer, his neighbor mentioned that she was planning on selling her house this summer, and it would really be ideal for us. Living across the hall from my brother and his family in the apartments was cool, but this would be so much better.

So all-in-all, things are looking pretty good. :D

We came home Saturday afternoon, and Rachie's been doing pretty well. She's learning to get around a little bit when we put her on her tummy to play. She moves around a little when she's on her back, too, but not nearly as efficiently. She's not taking heavy pain meds during the day, but continues to have meds at bedtime to help her sleep. Most of her complaints are due to people being in her way, or not being able to get where she wants as quickly as she'd like. She likes to be held a lot, but because of the position she's in (because of the cast) it gets very uncomfortable for me after a while. Jay and my mom have been a big help in holding her when I just can't anymore. We'll go to the doctor tomorrow to get another xray and check on her progress, and I'll update again then.

Thanks again to everyone for your love and support - it means a lot to us. :)

So we're having a bit of an adventure here at Chez Goodenbery. Or, rather, some members of the Goodenbery have been displaced to the hospital until Saturday morning. Here's the scoop:

Last night just before bedtime, my brother and his family came over so my dad could help them with their taxes. In the ensuing cousin chaos, Patsy and Alyssa (my almost 5yo niece) were jumping from a step stool onto Rachel's bed, and, as near as we can tell (because we weren't in the room) one of them landed on her. Patsy said, "Her leg bended the wrong way."

So to make a long (and rather unclear) story short, Rachel has a spiral fracture of the left femur. She and I spent last night in the hospital, and today she's going to be fitted with a spica cast (and hopefully not have to have any rods or pins put in). If all goes according to plan, we should go home tomorrow morning. So the next six to eight weeks will be an adventure in various doctors' offices and the radiology department. Fabulous.

Rachie is in remarkably good spirits today (owing, I think, to the morphine and copius amounts of Nick Jr.). They tell me her cast will be lined with gore-tex, so I can put her in the tub or shower with no problems. It will go from her waist all the way down the left leg, and halfway down the right leg. It's going to be a challenge, to say the least.

Will update again from home.

Sort of checking in...
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Here I am again, though I haven't made any formal resolution to be on LJ more...only that I want to write more, and any writing is better than none (which is what I've been doing).
( Click here, 'cause I hate clogging up your flist. :) )

Well, for starters, I didn't get cast in the play. My friend did get cast as Lady Montague, and that's really cool. She was hoping they would cast her as something and not just relegate her to costume crew, where she usually ends up. So I'm happy that worked out.

Though it would have been really cool to be in the play, it's actually something of a relief not to be cast. And I'm still thinking about whether or not I'd like to work on the crew, since I know both of their usual costumers have roles. If I had been cast, it would have meant not seeing Jay at all in the evenings until March 1st. So at least now I know my evenings are free, lol.

In other areas of life...I think it's natural to re-evaluate your life at this time of year, but I feel like I've been re-evaluating since my birthday. Thinking a lot, trying to make tentative plans, but at the same time really lost as far as where my life is actually going. On the one hand, I have been blessed in so many ways - a loving husband, wonderful children, great friends, few real worries. And on the other hand, I feel I've accomplished so little. I haven't had the time or the means to go to school, or even figured out what I want to do. (In a way, I'm glad of that - I think if I had gone to school, I'd have changed majors a hundred times, and be up to my eyeballs in student loans.) I'm still not really sure what I want to be "when I grow up." I'm still fairly young, but I'm certainly not getting any younger.

I feel like I'm at a crossroads of sorts, but there are dozens of paths to choose from, and I don't really have a compass or a map, just vague direction signs along the way. I'm so frustrated with myself. I feel like others know what they want by this time in their life, but I'm just so...overwhelmed. It's a little maddening, actually.

Tuesday night I went to my first audition in about ten years. Wednesday night I went to callbacks. (I had a complete blast both nights, by the way.) Today I'm waiting. I'll probably wait all of tomorrow, too, before the cast list is posted. I'm feeling positive, but prepared. Everyone at the audition was so fantastic, I don't think I'd grudge anyone a part. But I really hope I get one. :)

I don't normally do these Writer's Block things, but this one struck a little close to home for me. As a Mormon, I get a lot of questions about polygamy. (Short answer, it's no longer practiced by the mainstream Church. I won't get into the long answer.) But this post isn't actually about polygamy. This post is about my thoughts on marriage in general.

The definition of marriage, according to my personal belief, is a formal partnership between one man, one woman, and God. So now that that's out, here's my though on the government's role in there: they should have no place in marriage whatsoever. I believe marriage is strictly a religious institution. If your religion allows two men or two women to be married, (or one man and multiple women, or one woman and multiple men, for that matter), it shouldn't matter a whit. If your it allows you to marry spidermonkeys, that's your business.

I further believe that any people cohabitating in a loving, committed relationship should have the same rights under the law as any others. This garbage about not being allowed health benefits, and in some cases survivor benefits, just because the partners happen to be the same gender, or because they didn't have some sort of "government recognized" union is exactly that: garbage. It really disgusts me that people can't treat others with decency and respect just because they don't agree with the direction in which they lead their lives. I think especially because this nation was founded on the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I guess that leads me to other thoughts... I know most of my readers (when I actually have something to write about, hah) are readers of my husband's blog, and so are probably very familiar with his political views, as he makes no bones about them. Maybe it's time I make my little declaration, as it were...

I believe in the right to choice in all things. I believe the purpose of our entire existence is to make choices and learn from them. And while there are choices I would not make for myself, and might discourage others from making, I recognize that it is not my job to make choices for others (the obvious exception being my children - and then only to a point, really; they'll have to learn how to make their own choices eventually). And just because I might disagree with the choices others may make, it doesn't automatically mean I think they're bad people. I don't have their experience, and I literally can't make the choice that would be best for them, just as I wouldn't want others forcing my hand.

Now, my views don't necessarily mesh with others of my faith - but again, isn't that my choice?

This is just to let everyone know - I know I've been rather absent lately, and while not especially new for my lj, I haven't really been around anywhere else, either. This is not because I am avoiding anyone, or trying to be rude intentionally. Those who know me very well know that I am the world's very worst correspondent, and have an irrational fear of most kinds of communication. So just so you know, it's not an intentional slight to anyone. I'm just feeling a little more neurotic than normal (which is really saying something).

Also, my obsessions have been changing rather quickly. Not to say that I don't still enjoy them all - I do, immensely - I've just been a lot more distracted (which, also, is really saying something). Then Twilight hit me like a freight train this last week.

I'll try to keep this short. Basically, I had seen the book over a year ago in the bookstore, was intrigued, but broke, and put it back, wrote the title in my notebook, and forgot about it. When its popularity exploded, I honestly didn't remember wanting to read it, and dismissed it (very elitist of me, I know - I did the same with Harry Potter). After a number of recommendations, the last by my aunt (who had been one of Stephenie Meyer's church youth leaders when she was in high school), I finally agreed to get off my elitist high horse read it, and it sort of consumed my life all of last week, reading a book a day, and catching the midnight show at the theater Thursday night with Jay.

I've also been doing my holiday knitting, and that isn't really conducive to chatting, as I need my hands for it.  I've been watching rather a lot of movies, and listening to a bit of music.  I've been listening to classical quite a bit, until I got my hands on the Twilight soundtrack and score, which I have been listening to since.

In other news, I mysteriously lost 11 pounds, which was pretty cool.  Maybe if I start actually putting forth some effort, I might lose a bit more, and wouldn't that be nice.  :)  I really need to tone up, but I find so little time between my multiple and varied interests and taking care of the kids.  Plus the first shreds of a story are coming to me (finally - it's been so long since I wrote anything worth reading), so I've been a bit preoccupied there, too.

So again, apologies to everyone for the lack of communication, especially tosyldena (you can email me straight about Molly's sweater -andh_u_s_h_e_d , whom I feel I have neglected terribly.

PayPal resolved my cases, and all my money has been refunded. :D It's a good day.

This morning Jay called and filed an unauthorized charge claim with our bank, and I have filed a complaint with the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center. And I hope whoever did this gets their ass handed to them. Tomorrow. (Because even though I'd like it to happen today - or better yet, yesterday - I know how America works; shit just doesn't get done on the weekend).

This morning, we told the kids that some bad people had taken our money. Wyatt said, "I know who did it!" Jay said, "No kiddo, I'm pretty sure that you don't." Wyatt tried to say, uh-huh, yes he did or whatever, but I just said, "Thieves." (You know the Kids in the Hall bit.) ;) Wyatt said, "That's right." Jay just laughed and laughed. Then he explained it to the kids while I went and printed off the relevant emails to hand over to the authorities.

You know the one I mean. Where you feel like you're simultaneously choking and about to vomit? When you can just feel your stomach lurching, and it has absolutely nothing to do with your actual health, or what you might have eaten? I'm feeling that now. Someone hacked into my PayPal account and made purchases and transfers totaling $885.

I've filed a dispute, and hopefully it will be resolved quickly. But I just feel terribly violated and awful right now.